


How Do I Live Without You?

by waywarddaughter13



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean's in purgatory, Explicit Language, F/M, Pregnancy, Would you consider it cheating?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2015-10-15
Packaged: 2018-04-26 12:43:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5005222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waywarddaughter13/pseuds/waywarddaughter13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the wake of Dick Roman's death, Dean disappears, leaving behind his baby brother, and unknowingly to him, his pregnant girlfriend.</p>
<p>How will she handle having a child without him? How will she handle the feelings that begin to bloom between her and Sam?</p>
<p>Based on this imagine: http://waywarddaughter13.tumblr.com/post/129660891769/would-you-guys-like-a-whole-story-maybe-a</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Do I Live Without You?

**Author's Note:**

> I am almost done with "I'd Let Him" and the second chapter to "What Hurts The Most". I just really love this story and I wanted to post it(:
> 
> It is also posted on my tumblr: waywarddaughter13

Dean and Cas had vanished into an explosion of black goo. "Dean! Cas! Dean!!" I screamed. I felt light headed. My knees grew weak and gave out right there, if it weren't for Sam and Kevin, I would have hit the floor. The tears flowed down my face.

"Guys, we should go." Kevin stammered. He was right. We should go, but Sam kept looking where Dean and Cas were standing. "What the hell?" He exclaimed.

Kevin grabbed my arm and tried reaching for Sam. "More chompers any second, Sam. (Y/N)." Kevin pleaded.

Suddenly Crowley appeared. "Not to worry. I have a small army of demons outside. Cut off the head, and the body will flounder, after all." Sam scoffed at the king of hell.

"Think if you'd had just one king since before the first sunrise. You'd be in a kerfuffle, too." The demon smirked.

"Which is exactly what you wanted." Sam retorted. Crowley smiled. "Ah, so did you. Without a master plan, the Levis are just another monster. Hard to stomp, sure, but you love a challenge. Your job is to keep them from organizing."

"Where's Dean?!" I demanded, finally getting my voice back. Crowley just shrugged his shoulders. "That bone... Has a bit of a kick. God weapons often do. They should have put a warning on the box." He joked.

I felt like I couldn't breathe. "Dammit, where are they Crowley!?" I screeched. I needed Dean. I didn't know how to live without him.

"Can't help you, love." He mused then snapped his fingers. Two of his henchmen had ahold of Kevin. "Kevin!" I yelled.

"Sorry Sam, (y/n). Prophet's mine." He snapped his fingers again and Kevin was gone. "You got what you wanted. Dick's dead, saved the world. So I want one little prophet." Son of a bitch! In a matter of minutes, we lost Dean and Cas, now Kevin.

"Sorry moose, squirrelette, wish I could help. You have certainly got a lot on your plate right now, but hey Sam. This way you can finally have the girl." Crowley gestured toward me then vanished.

I started to hyperventilate. Everything was finally settling in, in the silence. "S-s-sa-Sam. What- where- how?" I stuttered as the tears came back. Sam instantly engulfed me in his arms. "It's okay. We're okay. It's going to be okay." He kept repeating those words. I couldn't tell if he was trying to convince me or himself.

"Sam we need to go." I pulled away from his embrace. He nodded. We rushed out of the building. We found the impala crashed through the front sign, and Meg was gone in the wind.

We clambered into the car and drove off. We were lost. Dean was gone. Cas was gone. I was pregnant. Sam was broken.

We wanted to get as far away from Wisconsin as possible. Sam and I drove to Texas, where we decided to settle down in a small town named Kermit.

As soon as we crossed a hotel with vacancy, Sam immediately booked us a room. "They only had one room left." He gave me an apologetic smile. "It's fine, Sam. We're adults, we can share." I replied tiredly. I didn't care, I just wanted to sleep in a bed.

Upon entering the room, I decided to finally tell Sam about the baby. "Um, Sam? Can we talk for a second?" I made your way to the run down couch, Sam not far behind me.

"What's up, (y/n)?" The worry prominent in his voice. _Don't cry_ , I told myself, but I couldn't fight back the tears. "Sammy, I'm pregnant." I choked out before I began sobbing.

Sam immediately wrapped his arms around me. He sat there and held me while I cried into his chest. After what felt like hours, Sam finally pulled away. He lifted my head so that he could look at my face. "(Y/n), we're going to be okay. You, me, and this baby." He said, putting a large hand to my belly. "I will do whatever I have to make sure you two live long happy lives. That's what Dean would want." Sam declared, knowing that Dean would never forgive him if anything happened to us.

That night, I curled into bed with Sam by my side. He held me close while I prayed to every angel, every deity, anything I could have possibly prayed to, to bring Dean back to me. I ended up crying myself to sleep.

Over the next few days, Sam had managed to get a job as a maintenance man for the hotel. I didn't leave the room. Sam brought me food, and if it wasn't for the baby, I probably wouldn't have eaten. I never knew that I could hurt this much. Dean was my soulmate, my other half, and the love of my life.

I decided that while Sam was working I was going to look for Dean. Hours, days, even weeks of research, yet I had nothing. Dean was gone, and he wasn't coming back.

* * *

 

About a month and a half later, I had gotten a job at a small diner down the road. Sam and I decided that it was time to look for a more permanent place. We had a viewing for a house after my doctor's appointment the following day.

I was dreading the doctor. These were the days that I missed Dean more than ever. Having Sam there made things easier but not better. Upon waking up, I realized Sammy was gone. I was use to this. He still woke up and went running.

I took a shower, got dressed and made breakfast for Sam and I. About the time I got the food on the table, Sam was entering the room. "Right on time, moose." I mused. He gave me smile. "You're the best, (y/n)." He walked over and gave me a small kiss on the cheek.

"Go shower Sam. You stink and I have a appointment today. We don't wanna be late, do we?" He shook his head and went straight to the bathroom. 15 minutes later, Sam emerged in a puff of steam. He was in nothing but a towel. When my eyes fell on him, I choked a little on my juice.

"You okay?" Sam asked with a smug smile on his face. I simply nodded, not trusting my voice. I watched as Sam moved around the room gathering his things and headed back into the bathroom.

I kicked myself in the ass. _How could I look at Sam like that? I'm having his brother's baby. His brother, who is.. Was the love of my life._ Losing myself in my thoughts, I hadn't heard Sam enter back into the main room. I assumed my harsh words to myself had brought on tears, because Sam was instantly by my side asking what was wrong.

"Nothing. Nothing. Just thinking about Dean." I assured him. It looked like he wanted to argue but chose not to. Instead he began to eat. It wasn't long until we were on the road to the doctor. I was about 3 months now, almost into my second trimester.

"Are you sure you want me to come with you? I mean, this is a strange situation." Sam was concerned. "I'd rather have you with me Sammy. It makes things a little easier." It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't exactly the truth. Sam and this baby were the only things I had left of Dean. I wanted him close.

Sam had gotten us signed in, and surprisingly it wasn't long until we were called back.

"Hello there!" A voice spoke as the door opened. "I'm Dr. Richardson." A woman with brown curly hair appeared. "Miss (y/l/n)?" She asked. "Yes ma'am. It's great to meet you." I said sweetly. I stretched out a hand, which she gladly accepted. "And you must be the proud daddy." She assumed as she turned to Sam. He got an awkward look on his face. "Um, actually-- you see our situation is different." I started to explain. "His brother is actually the father. He-- he isn't with us anymore." I choked back tears.

"Oh goodness! I am so sorry! Stupid me, assuming things I shouldn't. Well I think that is just wonderful." She exclaimed. "Well how about we check on the little on, hm?" She proceeded to ask me to lay back. She placed cold gel on my bare stomach.

Sam sat beside me, holding my hand the entire time. He was entranced by the baby on the monitor.

"Well your baby looks very healthy. On your next visit, you should be able to find out the sex if you wish." She tore off the latex gloves she had on. "Miss (y/n), if I could possibly talk to you alone, it will only take a few minutes." Dr. Richardson requested. I let out an 'Mmhmm' and told Sam I'd meet him in the waiting room.

Once we were alone, the doctor shut the door. "I don't want to pry, but i do like to get to know my mom-to-be's. Would you mind telling me about the father? Like how did he pass? Was it a disease or something of the sorts?" She inquired.

"No ma'am. He died in action. He was a cop. He saved people. He was a good man." I started to tear up. She nodded. "I am very sorry for your loss. He sounds like a wonderful man."

"He was. He really was. But Sam, he's just as good. I'm a very lucky woman." I confessed. She asked a few more personal questions then sent me on my way. I met Sam in the lobby. "Hey, what was that about?" He wondered.

"She just wanted to know some more about Dean and asked a few personal questions. Everything is fine Sam." I assured him.

He wrapped an arm around my shoulder as we exited the building. For the first time in two months, I felt okay. Right here, wrapped in Sam's embrace, I felt almost whole. That's when I realized, I was slowly falling for Sam.

Oh shit.


End file.
